Author Archives: The CAO

About The CAO

The Chief Annoyance Officer’s (CAO) first assignment was to a squad of six in the low rank of Minor Nuisance. His natural talent quickly propelled him through the ranks of Major Nuisance, Aggravator 2nd and 1st Class, and Severe Irritator, all within the first decade of his career. His knack for hanging on to small details with a zombie-like death grip made him perfect for the rank he now holds at TWOS. The CAO oversees a large portion of the content editing and is quick to reject anything that rivals his powers of agitation. His hopes now lie in a promotion to the rank of Master Annoyance Officer.

TWOS New Evolutionary Form

Much like those annoying Pokemon things and their ever changing forms, TWOS has taken the next step in online literary evolution. And like those weird lil’ anime creatures, our name has changed.

www.shelldisability.com

www.shelldisability.com Questions about your Social Security disability claim? We can help. Click our logo to visit our site.

We are now… Fiction Vortex! Check us out at our new page.

This change has been made possible by you our followers, our staff, and a good friend that saw value in what the TWOS community was try to accomplish. So thanks to Ernie and his company for funding our next step.

 

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Last TWOS Story… Ever. Ridden Down (Jon Clapier)

3 Words: Flavor, Estimate, Brown (The LAST Prompt Ever)

Ridden Down

by Jon Clapier

Walks-with-fire lay in the long grass of a prairie ridge and watched the war party of Kiowa far below. The morning sun warmed his back as the sight of the warriors chilled his heart. They were four times the number of his fingers and were slowly working out the trail of his people. So many, and his family were so few.

His pony, Buffalo Runner, was hidden in the depression behind him, and a few miles beyond that his family fled from their enemies.

For three days Walks-with-fire and his two brothers had skirmished with the Kiowa, harassing them, slowing them and giving time for the women and children to escape. Walks-with-fire shivered, remembering how his brothers had saved him and he breathed a silent prayer that their spirits would be allowed to help him from the other world before they began their eternal hunt in the sky.   Continue reading

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Week 97 Story: The Hazards of a Small Business (Jon Clapier)

3 Words: Eat, Greedy, Expedition (December 21, 2012 prompt)

The Hazards of a Small Business

by Jon Clapier

A man, disheveled and unshaven, rolled out of bed in a dim studio apartment. He picked up a sawed off shotgun from against the side of his bed and walked to the bathroom. He leaned the shotgun in a corner by the door only after checking the bathroom. He emerged some time later, shaved and with his hair combed into a wave. Carefully he dressed and then, taking the shotgun with him he unlocked multiple locks on the door before standing back to open it carefully, gun raised. When nothing happened he yawned and stepped out on the landing and took a short flight of stairs up to the roof of his small apartment building.

He repeated the unlocking-and-pointing-the-gun procedure at the door, finding nothing and then stepped out onto the roof. Buildings flanked the roof on three sides and an open street with more buildings across the way stood empty. Walking over to the edge that sat above the front of the building, he peeked over the short parapet to the street two stories below. A horde of about twenty soulless ghouls clawed ineffectively at the reinforced steel doorway. A few turned rotting faces up to him and growled like dogs with cut throats. Continue reading

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Week 95 Short Story: The Nativity (Rahn Olaso)

3 Words: Hotel, Complain, Royal (December 7, 2012 prompt)

 

The Nativity

by Rahn Olaso

It was the last day of my trip, and it was pouring rain.  Every day before this had been bright, sparkling, and perfect, and I had spent them all in a boardroom discussing trade tariffs and delivery schedules.  I had purposely scheduled my flight home a day late in order to do some Christmas shopping, and now the shale colored sky was seeking to prove that Noah’s deluge was a historical possibility.

Now that the day was here however, I was not going to fail.  Tensions in this part of the world were escalating, and I might not make it back for some time, if at all.  Three steps from the hotel to the taxi left me drenched, the wind making my umbrella less a help than a genuine nuisance, but at least the market was covered.

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Week 94 Short Story: The Dream (Jon Clapier)

3 Words: Cobbler, Purge, Forgotten (November 30, 2012 prompt)

 

The Dream

by Jon Clapier

A young woman sits by a table at an open air café, checking her watch often.

“Would you like to order now?”

She notices the waiter is getting impatient and thinks it’s a bad omen coming from someone so good-looking, “No thank you. I’m sure my Aunt will be here any minute.”

“Can I refill your drink for you?”

She wants to say yes, but feels self-conscious about a third refill, “No, thank you.”

He nods in resignation and moves to another table.

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Week 93 Short Story: Alive (William Ross)

3 Words: Transformation, Trust, Intense (November 23, 2012 prompt)

 

Alive

by William Ross

We really have no other choice than to recontextualize subjective methodologies and paradigms. We must deploy community wide, inquiry-based, scientific pragmatism in an effort to control the plague of ignorance, apathy and naivety that is ravaging our societies. I propose a global reformation of our technological outlook through a use of…”

*****

I look up from my computer screen, blinking hard to sooth my burning eyes. I am on page one hundred and thirty-two of my doctoral dissertation, but it really doesn’t mean much to me. I know better than to involve myself emotionally or to write something I actually believe in or care about. I made this mistake while working on my first doctorate degree back when I was twenty-six. It was dissected and torn apart and I was forced to revise and edit it beyond recognition. By the time it was finally accepted it was no longer my own; I no longer had anything invested in it. It had become nothing more than a drawn out string of long, fancy words.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! Don’t Let the Holidays Give You Writer’s Block

Don’t let the fat man give you this!

Last year we decided to go on a December Hiatus and well, that was a mistake we won’t make again. We learned that Holiday season busyness doesn’t mean ‘no writing’ — unless you let it.

So, this December DON’T LET THE HOLIDAYS GIVE YOU WRITER’S BLOCK!

We hope your Christmas is full of fun and joy and lots of yummy unhealthy food and all of those warm fuzzies. But may it also be full of writing!

Merry Christmas from the TWOS Staff!

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This November, Feed the TWOS NaNoWriMo Puppy!

*11/30/2012 Update: The dog is dead. Hope your white blank pages make you feel good.

NaNoWriMo is upon us and the BSR has challenged all of you NaNoWriMo’ers.

“So what are you going to do about this NaNoWriMo Puppy, who’s so inexplicably demanding and encouraging at the same time? Are you going to feed him?”

   Well, are you? Are you one of those masochists and has set the 50k word goal?

If so let your progress be the food for the TWOS NaNoWriMo Puppy. And a dog needs to eat  everyday… at least we think it does. Anyway. Flaunt your daily progress and post your latest word count in the comments section below. At the end of the month we will see how well you authors have fed the TWOS NaNoWriMo Puppy.

   And for those TWOS fans that just like to read, please comment any encouragement and well deserved kicks in the pants for the authors!

And despair not! TWOS will still post stories. Just look for our regular stories and prompts directly below this post.

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Week 90 Short Story: The Adventures of Grubbin Man (Mike Cluff)

3 Words: Rival, Interrupt, Retired (November 2, 2012  prompt)

 

The Adventures of Grubbin Man

by Mike Cluff

We join Our Hero in the middle of a butt-rub. Now, before you go and doubt the moral quality of this story (or its narrator), let me explain: The butt is not his; it doesn’t belong to any human. It did belong to a pig—a pig that is dead and no longer has any need of its upper shoulder. That is the butt that Our Hero is so graciously slathering with herbs and spices.

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Week 88 Halloween Poem: True Terror (Rahn Olaso)

All Nine Words (October 19, 2012 prompt)

 

True Terror

by Rahn Olaso

Twas the eve of All Hallows, and all through the streets were ghoulies and goblins all begging for treats.

Their bags were all full of the tastiest bites, they’d been showered with sweets on this of all nights.

A night on which rumors of unpleasant things, of witches and zombies fly with bat wings.

A night of traditions with darkness at heart, when good men caught sleeping awake with a start,

And hope that the news of their inner most fears will remain forever unsung in their ears.

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